You know what is hilarious? That men, who used to wrestle with bears, now wear skinny jeans, but in both eras “Klusser Space” exists. It is so funny that it may not be brought up in conversation.

It is awkward, you know. Like what can you do about the existence of the oh so common skinny jeans? It’s nothing personal wanting to be secretive about the perception of skinny jeans in Klusser Space.

15:02 (03:02 PM) – Chad Mode

So for today, the central theme about which I will write is (predictable) pitfalls one could encounter when a man applies his “Klusser Space”. The potential pitfalls are infinite. That is why I will solely address the ones that I hate the most.

Starting with “Chad Mode”. And by “Chad” I mean Charlie’s Angels “The Chad”, not “The Chad” from the memes. The concept of “The Chad” from the memes, I am unable to understand. Like that is just “syntax error” to me.

The only moment that a man knows how someone else perceives his “Klusser Space”, is when he proudly presents it. Before that, it has been a space in between him and himself. His moment of presentation – opening up, which might feel vulnerable/immasculine to some – in contrast, is very innocent in comparison to the position of power that his audience is in.

In between two extremes, in all honesty, the audience can choose to either be dismissive about it, or burn the idea to the ground. There is a third, unique, extreme, which is trying to avoid “Chad Mode”.

“But you don’t seem happy.” 

“It’s nothing, okay. It’s great.”

What he can manifest in his space is not as limitless as it should be. He is helpless.

“Just tell me what I can do to improve it.”

“It is perfect, dear.”

Here comes the momentum. The man is the woman having a mental breakdown over a broken nail. I, the woman, am the man trying to offer consolation by saying that it will grow back, as if that is a solution and not just a natural phenomenon. He is about to enter “Chad Mode”.

“But you literally lost your smile when I showed it to you. You are not telling me what is wrong with it.”

Speaking from experience, trying to explain what is wrong is never of enough detail, especially when the objective is to move on from the subject, in the avoidance of the escalation of “Chad Mode”.

The most common options:

  1. Saying: “Please just shut the fuck up”.
  2. Trying to explain what is wrong, even though you know that he will never be able to solve it.
  3. Pretending to be less intelligent, then pretending the lack of happiness came from receiving not enough sex.

A man is most vulnerable in his “Klusser Space”. When it is not appreciated by someone he loves, he enters “Chad Mode”. I find this extremely annoying. Because I am not the ISTJ who aspires to say that he, with his “Klusser Space”, destroyed the system to become limitless. “Chad Mode” is disturbingly immasculine.

A Titan in “Chad Mode” becomes a murderer trying to hide his faux pas. (Don’t you dare mention that it happened. His actual Klusser Space is pure perfection.) The other pitfalls that I will describe are the scenarios before the potential initiation of “Chad Mode”.

15:55 (03:55 PM) – Level 3: “Multiple Klusser Space”

A bunch of men have decided to organize something together, and they have invited a woman to come over and enjoy the end result. This is a level 3 scenario: “Multiple Klusser Space”.

What first and foremost must be perfection is the chemistry amongst the men themselves. It would be a headache if the woman has to both perceive the result of their planning and choose sides in a disagreement amongst the organization. This is prevented by solving disagreements before the event starts, with ultimate social circumstances as the objective.

What also must be flawless, is how they intend to divide their attention over their special guest. It is disturbing and immasculine to watch men fight for the attention of a woman. A pleasant surprise is when they do this according to plan.

16:23 (04:23 PM) – In Practice: “Wildcatty Christmas versus Conservative Christmas”

In my annual agenda template, my December 25th is planned wildcatty and my December 26th is planned conservative. It is a balance between subtly challenging Klusser Space and having some kind of a family-like consistency even though we have all left everything behind.

To fully enjoy my eternal marriage, I must challenge it sometimes. It keeps things the most interesting. I hate relationship drama, but I love sensing energies that challenge it. To force myself into abstaining from that would be unnatural. So I have incorporated it in my life and my purpose.

The intention is that I celebrate the first day of Christmas without my husband, to the second day regret that I have ever wanted to celebrate the first day of Christmas without my husband. I am involved in neither organization of the Christmas parties. But I do want to receive annual summaries for a gift. And for Wildcatty we likely talk about business, while for Conservative we likely talk about personal chemistry. May the best Christmas party win.

17:07 (05:07 PM) – Level 2: “One Klusser Space”

A man is going to take his Klusser Space to spend some alone time with a woman. We are dealing with a level 2 scenario: “One Klusser Space”.

The only thing in between him and his ultimate fulfillment are his own actions. What is the most unattractive, however, is when this is his only objective. A true gentleman knows how to subtly achieve multiple objectives, as if it is not what he wants.

Even more admirable is when all of his objectives are not his ultimate fulfillment. Because when love is true, it is then given to him naturally. That is, of course, not about professional circumstances.

Under professional circumstances, there may be no such tension. Given that child birth is easier for men, he controls the temperature. Things should be so ice cold that it feels like potentially that tension does not even exist.

Intersexual professional situations go against nature? Regardless, for business performance, it may not be of influence. For one’s economic responsibility, self-control is crucial.

18:29 (06:29 PM) – In Practice: “Lunch with Ootje, traveling with Papa.”

This is a evolution of “nothing with Ootje, lunch with Papa”. Once committed to a routine, to derive from the routine is to enter “Chad Mode”. I can, however, commit to the evolution.

Saying “Ootje” is funny. In his heart he is the most masculine of men, but in practice he allows himself to be called “Ootje”. To assign him as my lunch buddy for weekdays at first feels like “putting him through an Ootje”, but I have decided that this is healthy.

Because gossiping with the Chief of Staff for lunch on weekdays gives us better oversight of what is happening in our organization, and doing that consecutively makes it more alive. We will be of much inspiration to each other.

Having lunch with papa would be a form of favoritism, his work hours are unpredictable and we do not have as much to talk about. So from him, given that he is still my father, I then want to receive on paper the state of his formula in relationship to what I have reported on Market Analysis News the day before. I want him to write habitually, and in this way I keep up with what goes on in his life.

When it comes to lifestyle choices in traveling circumstances, my father is the only one I trust to not crush me in the process. So whenever I must travel, he, my Technologicus, is my expert whose hand I hold tightly.

19:21 (07:21 PM) – Level 1: “None Klusser Space”

The Klusser Space is a workshop, structured to one’s craft. I judge someone by how organized and tidy it is. It is mostly fictive.

When I was staying in psychiatric hospital, and sometimes was outside, I used to wonder if it was visible to others that I was staying in a psychiatric hospital. In that same way, I wonder if worry about a messy Klusser Space is the same.

If a None Klusser Space has an agenda item for a one or multiple klusser space, he must know how to prepare for this without any guidance. At the occasion, the state of his klusser space may not be visible in his appearance.

19:33 (07:33 PM) – In Practice: “IDGAF.”

What is most important is that you at least appear as if you have your shit together. But that is just a first step, because even if all seems well on the outside, someone with a sixth sense will know when someone has a problem on the inside. That is nothing but a cancer.

One should be aware of when “Chad Mode” has been entered and himself know how to get out of it. This could be thought of in advance. It could be something men talk about amongst themselves. Never bother me with it.

We live in an odd society where it is possible that men decide to wear skinny jeans. I keep my thoughts to myself. There is only so much enthusiasm in my arsenal. Given that men are independent beings, I may not be bothered by their lack of ability to perfect their ways of life. So if you are dealing with a personal problem, I do not give a fuck.

20:20 (08:20 PM) – The Golden Mean

I know most of y’all don’t have y’all shit together. But what is most important to me is that I stay comfortable, regardless of what that means for you.

I am in favor of ending all restrictions that exist for men, but only if that means that they will become the best versions of themselves and only bother me when I allow them to. To in the back of my mind know that they are living happy lives is enough for me.

But when things become a disaster, they must allow me to state my demands so that I stay unaffected. Consider it the golden mean: you may do whatever you want in your klusser space and I am certain that it will never affect me. Tomorrow I write about “common objectives”.